


You Know, I Know The Feeling...

by bobbiejelly



Series: MerAdd My Heart <3 [18]
Category: Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice
Genre: Alternate Universe - Grey's Anatomy Fusion, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Based on Grey's Anatomy, Best Friends, Bisexual Addison Montgomery, Bisexual Derek Shepherd, Bisexual Mark Sloan, Bisexual Meredith Grey, Crack, Emerald City Bar (Grey's Anatomy), Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Happy Ending, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, F/M, Femslash, Fluff, Friend Circle, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Gay'sAnatomy, Grey's Anatomy References, Grey's Anatomy Spoilers, Happy, Happy Ending, How Derek found out, Hurt/Comfort, I Watched Too Much Grey's Anatomy, Inspired by Grey's Anatomy, Joe's Bar, Love Triangles, Love Triangles Are So Overrated, M/M, MarkAndDerek, MerAdd, MerDer, MeredithAndMark, Multi, Mutual Pining, Other, Slash, Slash and Femslash, When You Can Have Headfuck Love Squares Instead, love square, maddison - Freeform, meddison
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:27:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24169579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bobbiejelly/pseuds/bobbiejelly
Summary: Square tables sure are the worst things, like, ever (Except for maybe, love-squares, of course).A fanfiction involving Addison Montgomery, Meredith Grey, Derek Shepherd & Mark Sloan.Rated somewhere between T and M, I guess. Grey's Anatomy and also Private Practice.A Four-Shot for Four Fabulous Fast Friends. MerDer. MerAdd. Maddison. MarkAndDerek.
Relationships: Addison Montgomery/Derek Shepherd, Addison Montgomery/Mark Sloan, Derek Shepherd/Mark Sloan, Meredith Grey/Addison Montgomery, Meredith Grey/Derek Shepherd, Meredith Grey/Mark Sloan
Series: MerAdd My Heart <3 [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1687834
Comments: 20
Kudos: 9





	1. CORNER ONE

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LordofLezzies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LordofLezzies/gifts), [Hotgitay](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hotgitay/gifts), [Kristin_Aubrie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kristin_Aubrie/gifts), [lespians](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lespians/gifts), [EmyLilas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmyLilas/gifts), [LarisUSB](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LarisUSB/gifts), [lineeelin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lineeelin/gifts), [lightningmaystrike](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lightningmaystrike/gifts), [seattlerain879](https://archiveofourown.org/users/seattlerain879/gifts), [lydialyn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lydialyn/gifts), [Seldom_naughty](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seldom_naughty/gifts), [Mbufton12](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mbufton12/gifts), [anonymous_sibyl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/anonymous_sibyl/gifts), [punky_96](https://archiveofourown.org/users/punky_96/gifts), [f_femslash](https://archiveofourown.org/users/f_femslash/gifts), [Jennifer-Oksana (JenniferOksana)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JenniferOksana/gifts), [bg3929](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bg3929/gifts), [aymr](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aymr/gifts), [StephyInsanity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/StephyInsanity/gifts), [souvenirscar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/souvenirscar/gifts), [TheQueenOfPassiveAggressiva](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheQueenOfPassiveAggressiva/gifts), [tisziny](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tisziny/gifts), [SassyKissMyAssy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SassyKissMyAssy/gifts), [WhatwouldagentScullydo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhatwouldagentScullydo/gifts), [hestervandal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hestervandal/gifts), [Bluefall](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluefall/gifts), [AddisonAddek](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AddisonAddek/gifts), [addiesbaby](https://archiveofourown.org/users/addiesbaby/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Falling Apart, Barely Breathing](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23434480) by [bobbiejelly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bobbiejelly/pseuds/bobbiejelly). 
  * Inspired by [Soothe](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24039004) by [bobbiejelly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bobbiejelly/pseuds/bobbiejelly). 
  * Inspired by [Cheaters Never Win](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/642316) by keepfallingfast. 
  * Inspired by [Cheaters Never Win](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/642319) by Best Mistake. 



_Author's Note:_

You know the expression 'it's just a walk in the park?'

This was written during a walk in the park.

Actually written in part on a park bench.

On my damn phone.

Not to forget before I got home.

And now it lives here.

Good luck everyone.

If you know me, you already know the ending.

But it's all about the beginning and the middle.

Nonetheless.

_bobbiejelly_

* * *

**You Know, I Know The Feeling...**

* * *

_ Square tables sure are the worst things, like, ever. (Except for maybe, love-squares, of course,). _

_ A fanfiction involving Addison Montgomery, Meredith Grey, Derek Shepherd & Mark Sloan. _

_ Rated somewhere between T and M, I guess. Grey's Anatomy and also Private Practice. _

_ A Four-Shot for Four Fabulous Fast Friends. MerDer. MerAdd. Maddison. MarkAndDerek. _

* * *

**Chapter 1: CORNER ONE**

* * *

"Square tables really suck for four people for drinks," Derek Shepherd complains loudly to the others, his newly ex-girlfriend Meredith Grey, his current best friend Mark Sloan, and Mark's ex-girlfriend Addison Montgomery, who also happened to be Derek Shepherd's ex-wife quite some time ago.

And now they're friends sort of, which doesn't seem to make sense.

And once would think that the square shape would be symbolically soothing to their existential existence as the double-dating, or ex-double-dating kind of friends that they are, now.

"Square tables really do suck for four people for drinks, because you're sat there next to one person, yet you're across from the two others, and you can't seem to focus your attention in the proper direction," Addison articulates her thoughts cryptically.

"If you hate sitting at the damn table so much, would you get us another round, then?" Mark asks them to take a break before they ruin the evening.

"Ooh, if you're getting up can you get more lime and ice chips?" Meredith asks them both sweetly, and both of them give her a nod.

The four of them are drinking together that night, the first time they'd seen each other since Meredith had broken up with Derek two weeks ago and still hadn't told him why.

Mark and Addison are also drowning their sorrows because Addison broke up with Mark _three_ weeks ago when she found him cheating on her with a drug representative.

And just to clear the air and see what sort of friendship they could manage to salvage, Addison had had the 'excellent on principle, but terrible so far in practice,' idea of this non-double-date drinks thing.

A thing, during which, Addison herself sat next to Mark while staring across the table between Derek and Meredith. And Meredith sat next to Derek while staring across the table between Mark and Addison.

And now the two people who used to be married to each other both leave together to go get more ice-chips and limes and the two people who have never been a thing at all more than friends, ever, are now sitting alone waiting for their ex-somethings.

"You know, we could try to be a thing, me and you?" Meredith tries lamely to diffuse the tension to Mark.

"Last time I suggested that I landed face-first on the floor bleeding of Seattle Grace Hospital," Mark says to her bitterly, wincing at the memory as if still in pain.

And somehow the laughter between those two that followed seemed to make this whole thing slightly less sucky, for a split-second, at least.

As they are currently still stuck staring at each other from across the stupid sucky square table.

* * *

*****

*****

*****

*****

******** **END OF CHAPTER ONE**

* * *

_Author's Note 2:_

Well, it was going to be a one-shot until four chapters seemed poetic to symbolize the four corners of the stupid sucky square table and the four separate points of a love square.

Let me know what you think of this so far, hope you'll take it as seriously as I do, which I don't.

Have a nice day, hope you'll leave me a note.

bobbiejelly

* * *

******* THANK YOU FOR READING! SEE YOU ALL IN THE COMMENTS!*******

* * *

####  _Further Reading, (Other works you may like. These are my other MerAdd works so far…):_

####  [**Falling Apart, Barely Breathing**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23434480)

####  [ **Soothe** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24039004)

####  [ **Chasing Butterflies** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23365279)

####  [ **A Seattle Grace Mercy West Swingers Party - Post Plane Crash Edition** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23604244)

####  [ **McCravings** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24077548)

####  [ **RED is the new BLACK.** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23737411)

####  [ **Five Reasons We Knew Calzona Was Made For Each Other & Five + More 6 Sentence Fics** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23515210)

####  [ **Out Of The Dark** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23528218)

####  [ **Hello, Seattle** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23480440)

####  [ **Peace Of My Heart** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23554429)

####  [ **Meredith gets her Mojo Back** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23008183)

####  [ **Tears Shed From A Drunken Conversation** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23468182)

####  [ **Who Can Screw the Shepherd Siblings Better? A Sex Bet Between Addison Montgomery and Mark Sloan.** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23613940)

####  [ **Elevator To Heaven** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23639659)

####  [ **To Build A Home - For Me & For You** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23718808)

####  [ **Sights of Seattle, Stars in the Sky** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23384917)

####  [ **Meredith Makes Her McCHOICE of a Lifetime.** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23684815)

####  [ **Chief Montgomery's Seductress** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24115456)

####  [ **MerAdd PROMPTS Consultation for @bobbiejelly - INPUT REQUESTED !** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23741428)

####  [ **After Italian** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24078883)

####  [ **'Merley' (Meredith Grey/Miranda Bailey), eventual MerAdd (Meredith Grey/Addison Montgomery), mostly for Lesbi_Honest_FP** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24149845)

####  **The whole MerAdd Series:**

####  [ **MerAdd My Heart <3** ](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1687834)

* * *

####  _Author’s Note 3:_

#### Much love,

####  **_bobbiejelly_ **

####  [ **bobbiejelly** ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bobbiejelly/pseuds/bobbiejelly)


	2. CORNER TWO

_Author's Note:_

Somehow, I feel like this happened at Joe's, but then again, maybe not.

Emerald City Bar is iconic for Seattle Grace Hospital staff, after all.

And we all know Doctors make the worst Participants in a Love Triangle.

Oops. You know I meant Love Square, after all.. ;)

_bobbiejelly_

* * *

**You Know, I Know The Feeling**

* * *

_Square tables sure are the worst things, like, ever. (Except for maybe, love-squares, of course,)._

_A fanfiction involving Addison Montgomery, Meredith Grey, Derek Shepherd & Mark Sloan. _

_Rated somewhere between T and M, I guess. Grey's Anatomy and also Private Practice._

_A Four-Shot for Four Fabulous Fast Friends. MerDer. MerAdd. Maddison. MarkAndDerek._

* * *

**Chapter 2: CORNER TWO**

* * *

"I'm in love with Addison Montgomery," Meredith Grey confesses to Mark Sloan after Derek Shepherd and Addison Montgomery are finally out of earshot.

"You know, I know the feeling," Mark sighs at Meredith, the two ex-dirty mistresses dwelling, again, at this bar, alone together, for the first time since all this MerDer and Maddison fiasco came to a grinding halt.

"You're In love with her still?" Meredith asks Mark tenderly. She should feel a bit peeved by this, or jealous or she doesn't, seeing as Addison said to her earlier in complaint that she would never, ever, get back together with him.

See, Meredith and Addison are friends now, and they have been since right after Mark and Derek got over their troubles when Addison and Derek got a divorce, and Derek started dating Meredith and Addison started to date Mark for real, this time.

Addison and Meredith are BEST FRIENDS, and that's the problem, for Meredith, because usually, she would talk to Addie about all her love conundrums, because she understands better than anyone how to love Derek, without actually wanting him back anymore.

But now she can't confide in Addison about all her love problems, because her love problems are about breaking up with Derek, which Addison still doesn't really understand her for. And the real reason she dumped Derek was to crush over his ex-wife, who is now her best friend, but she feels she can't tell her that, either, for fear she'll lose Addie completely.

"I'm in love with Addison, still," Mark replies to Meredith's comment, then continues before she has a chance to reply. "But I've had my second try after I fucked up my first try, and I fucked it all up again, and I'm never gonna love her like you would," Mark says to her finally.

"You think that I'd love her well?" Meredith says to him, rather shocked that he'd even entertain such a thought.

"Yeah, I do," Mark rolls the ice from his whiskey over his tongue, and Meredith expects him to be all pervy and ask about a lesbian preview.

But he doesn't, and that's how Meredith knows he's sincere.

"Why aren't you mad that I'm asking about Addison?" Meredith finally asks him.

"Because I think I'm in love with my best friend Derek Shepherd," Mark finally admits to her, seeing as his ex-dirty mistress counterpart just bared her soul to him.

"You know, I know the feeling," Meredith smiles at her mirrored words from Mark, earlier, that seems to fit in so well, here.

"Are you gonna tell him?" Meredith asks him, rolling the line from her tequila on her teeth and her lips.

"Are you gonna tell her?" Mark mirrors back to her, as they sit still at an impasse, allowing the words to sink in as they sip on the remains of their drinks in their near-empty glasses.

"What do you think they're talking about?" Meredith asks as she points out to Mark how Derek and Addison are now chatting, or rather, shout-whispering at each other across the bar at each other.

"Us, probably," Mark says in a sad tone because he's sure as Meredith is that they're unlikely to be talking about them in the way that they want to.

"Yeah, you're right, she's probably shouting at him, saying 'Derek get a grip and go get your girlfriend back' or something like that," Meredith says with a sigh.

"And he's probably shouting at her, give Mark a chance because you obviously had an affair once, so can't you forgive him for having one if you really want to try with him," Mark says to Meredith with his own sigh.

"You know, you do Derek's voice really well," Meredith notices this and remarks about it.

"And you do Addison's, nicely," Mark shrugs as if it were inevitable.

"I wish we could hear what they're saying, but I guess having been married for 11 years once means that they've gotten really good at fighting discreetly in public," Meredith says as she eyes Mark's remaining ice chips, which he offers to her in return for her extra limes.

"They've been like that for years," Mark confirms to her. "I've never been able to understand it. For what it's worth, they're not in love with each other anymore, but they do share some bond that I can't seem to crack," Mark explains to Meredith as he sucks on his lime.

"God, I just wish she wasn't straight," Meredith complains outwardly to Mark, now.

"God, I just wish he wasn't straight," Mark complains outwardly to Meredith, now.

And they weren't just talking about each other, either. If that wasn't already abundantly clear…

* * *

*****

*****

*****

*****

******* END OF CHAPTER TWO**

* * *

_Author's Note 2:_

Yeah, I'm spoiling you with two chapters right after one another.

Hope you don't get too used to the idea, it's just because this once was a one-shot.

Let me know what you think, best wishes.

bobbiejelly

* * *

####  **_Further Reading, (Other works you may like. These are my other MerAdd works so far…):_ **

####  [**Falling Apart, Barely Breathing**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23434480)

####  [ **Soothe** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24039004)

####  [ **Chasing Butterflies** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23365279)

####  [ **A Seattle Grace Mercy West Swingers Party - Post Plane Crash Edition** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23604244)

####  [ **McCravings** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24077548)

####  [ **RED is the new BLACK.** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23737411)

####  [ **Five Reasons We Knew Calzona Was Made For Each Other & Five + More 6 Sentence Fics** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23515210)

####  [ **Out Of The Dark** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23528218)

####  [ **Hello, Seattle** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23480440)

####  [ **Peace Of My Heart** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23554429)

####  [ **Meredith gets her Mojo Back** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23008183)

####  [ **Tears Shed From A Drunken Conversation** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23468182)

####  [ **Who Can Screw the Shepherd Siblings Better? A Sex Bet Between Addison Montgomery and Mark Sloan.** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23613940)

####  [ **Elevator To Heaven** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23639659)

####  [ **To Build A Home - For Me & For You** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23718808)

####  [ **Sights of Seattle, Stars in the Sky** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23384917)

####  [ **Meredith Makes Her McCHOICE of a Lifetime.** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23684815)

####  [ **Chief Montgomery's Seductress** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24115456)

####  [ **MerAdd PROMPTS Consultation for @bobbiejelly - INPUT REQUESTED !** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23741428)

####  [ **After Italian** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24078883)

####  [ **'Merley' (Meredith Grey/Miranda Bailey), eventual MerAdd (Meredith Grey/Addison Montgomery), mostly for Lesbi_Honest_FP** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24149845)

####  **The whole MerAdd Series:**

####  [ **MerAdd My Heart <3** ](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1687834)

#### 

* * *

#### 

####  _Author’s Note 3:_

#### Much love,

####  _bobbiejelly_

####  [ **bobbiejelly** ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bobbiejelly/pseuds/bobbiejelly)


	3. CORNER THREE

Author's Note:

Short Chapters makes for quicker updates, apparently.

This is somewhere along the bitterness of slash and also femslash.

Or neither of those things, in the end.

Well, to hell with it. Here's chapter three.

Also, this chapter is dedicated to "LordOfLezzies" who commented just in time to get a shoutout because the comment came in as I was literally pasting the text in.

Also shoutout to "Hotgitay" who is lurking, I can see you lurking waiting to see how this will turn out because I love how you lurk around my work and kudos things especially when I write about M/M in my fanfictions.

Shoutout to the people who just read this on Ao3 and Fanfiction and Wattpad I don't know about yet.

See ya soon, people,

bobbiejelly

* * *

** You Know, I Know The Feeling  **

* * *

_Square tables sure are the worst things, like, ever (Except for maybe, love-squares, of course)._

_A fanfiction involving Addison Montgomery, Meredith Grey, Derek Shepherd & Mark Sloan._

_Rated somewhere between T and M, I guess. Grey's Anatomy and also Private Practice._

_A Four-Shot for Four Fabulous Fast Friends. MerDer. MerAdd. Maddison. MarkAndDerek._

* * *

** Chapter 3: CORNER THREE **

* * *

As it turns out, unbeknownst to Mark Sloan and/or Meredith Grey as they keep sharing the remaining ice chips and limes, Addison Montgomery and Derek Shepherd are having an interesting conversation of their very own.

They're standing together now, waiting for ice chips and limes now, because apparently the service is slow, and things like garnishes which are generally free, aren't as important to be speedy about whipping up compared to actual alcohol which people actually pay them for.

And they're having an old argument about their marriage, which, for the record, officially ended ages ago, for reasons they don't care to talk about with each other much, anymore.

But they're standing there now, staring at the stupid sucky square table where their friends are still sitting. The friends they're still sort-of friends with, despite them being each other's exes in at least some way, shape or form in the half-recent future.

"You know you're staring, and I can see you staring, right?" Addison asks her ex-husband Derek.

"You know that you can only see that I'm staring, because you're also actually staring, right?" Derek parrots back to his ex-wife Addison.

They're whisper-shouting expertly at each other now, because that's what they've learned to do with each other, to hide their problems from other people.

Not that their marriage wasn't doomed to be damned in the first place, but they're still not hammered nearly enough to have that talk with each other, yet.

"You want a red wine?" Derek offers, knowing the redhead hates hard liquor when she can have wine.

"I'll order you a single-malt scotch," Addison concedes to her 'McDreamy' counterpart, ironically demonstrating that living with somone for so long sometimes has it's advantages.

They're waiting on their drinks and their damn garnishes now, because the barkeep at least is taking them seriously after they'd ordered something worth serving them, for.

"Are you going to talk to me about it or not?" Addison finally confronts Derek about it because he's staring incessantly at the stupid sucky square table, or, rather, the people sitting at it and it's getting on Addison's nerves.

"I'm in love with Mark Sloan, my best friend, ever," Derek finally mumbles.

"Thank you, Derek," Addison sighs at her ex-husband.

"What are you thanking me for? I just professed my undying love for your boyfriend?" Derek says in alarm.

"Well, he's my ex-boyfriend, now, if you hadn't been listening," Addison quips at him with a bit of an eye-roll, now.

"You know, I know the feeling," Addison finally says this to Derek.

"Are you In Love with him still?" Derek asks, curiously.

"I don't know, Derek! Stop bugging me," Addison scoffs at Derek's insistent questions.

"Jeez, sorry. Didn't know it was such a sore spot for you," Derek whisper-shouts at his ex-wife.

"Are they staring at us?" Addison asks Derek now. "I feel like they're staring at us," Addition answers herself.

"You know, I bet Meredith is complaining about how I always seem to pick you over her," Derek sighs with a grunt.

"Well, I bet Mark is complaining about how I still let you call me Addie, sometimes, even if he calls me 'Red' and he's the only one who does that," Addison responds with a growl.

The piercing eyes of Mark Sloan are looking jealously over at them, and Derek briefly wonders hopefully if the look is for his own benefit, if Mark is really glowering at Addison, not him.

But he discounts this, as he moves on to keep talking about it. Because now that they're talking about this they might as well keep it up.

"We shouldn't have done this. We shouldn't have let our parents convince us a heterosexual marriage would 'fix us', because it didn't fix me, and I know I can't speak for you but you broke up with Mark three weeks ago because he cheated once, even though you cheated once also, and with him, that time, and no less.

"Cheating is a good enough reason to separate. We separated because of adultery," Addison reminds him.

"That's only because you drew the damn short straw, and you wanted to see if screwing Mark could 'fix you', which, by the way, you still look at women, I'm guessing it actually didn't," Derek whisper yells at her harshly.

"I feel like you're still angry I screwed your best friend, even though you agreed to it so you wouldn't be the one who had to be the slut or the whore," Addison rolls her eyes pointedly.

"You say that as if you were doing me a favor, and you got to have all the sex," Derek whisper-snarks back at her.

"If you wanted to have sex, Derek, I would have tried again with you, but you didn't want to, so don't blame me that you didn't do Mark when I offered it to you back then," Addison glares at him.

"I wasn't ready, I'm still not ready to come out, I mean, even if I want Mark more than anything… Derek says to her, at least glad they can still confide in each other like they used to.

"I feel like maybe I am, I'm exhausted from this. I'm 39 and I'm not getting younger, and I miss sex, and I like women, and I'm starting to care less and less what my parents will say…" Addison starts to speak out, but still whispering under her breath.

"What about Bizzy Forbes and 'The Captain' Montgomery?" Derek asks her, knowingly.

"I make enough that if they take away that damn trust fund, I'll be fine. And if I never talk to them ever again, at least I'll still probably have Archer Montgomery," Addison tries to say bravely, even if her voice is still shaking.

"And about my mother?" Derek asks her nervously.

"I won't tell Carolyn Shepherd you're into men if you don't want me to. We can blame it all on me, again, if that helps," Addison offers him graciously.

"But will you still be my cover-up beard if I ask you to?" Derek inquires specifically.

"Well, I don't know, I guess for an event if I have to. And I guess I would still ask you to be my cover-up person, too…" Addison nods at him in agreement.x

"But I sort of…" Addison trails off before she starts to say what she knows she has to- Really wants to finally say.

"I'm in love with Meredith Grey," Addison finally blurts out to Derek.

She's staring at Meredith now, who she sometimes sees flicking her eyes up at her, but Addison tries not to get too attatched to this, thinking that she's really still eyeing Derek, after all.

"You know, I know the feeling," Derek chuckles back at her, and watches as she stares at Meredith Grey who is sitting at the stupid sucky square table with Mark, who he is staring at, himself, at the same time.

"How did we get to me like this, Derek? We're talking to each other about wanting each other's exes like it's the most natural thing in the world?" Addison sighs at him, at the situation, at absolutely everyone and no-one at all in particular.

"Well, that's pretty much what we signed up for when we tried for over a decade to have a fake marriage," Derek laughs softly at her.

"Are you still going to be my friend if I ask her, Meredith, out and she says yes to me?" Addison asks him quite seriously.

"Are you still going to be my friend if I ask him, Mark, out and he says yes to me?" Derek asks her quite seriously.

"Well, we could just call a truce about it and say that we're even," Addison offers to him.

"Yeah, well, I guess we agree on something, finally, after fighting in our hushed whisper tones for over forty-five minues while abandoning half of our party during your very drunk and twisted ex-lover-best-friend-reconciliation event idea," Derek finally snarks at her.

"She's my best friend, Meredith Grey is, and I know you sort of loved her once, as well, even if you didn't love her like Mark. I just don't want to lose her. I just wish she wasn't straight," Addison says sadly to Derek.

"And he's my best friend since forever, you know that. Mark Sloan is my best friend, and I know you sort of loved him once, as well, even if you didn't love her like Meredith. I just don't want to lose him. I just wish she wasn't straight," Derek mirrors back to Addison, sadly.

"You know, I'm starting to think that love-squares are even worse than square-tables," Derek says to Addison, finally.

"The square-tables are just an exacerbation of the love-squares," Addison answers him.

"What do you mean by that?" Derek asks Addison, curiously.

"When you're me and you're sat at a square table, beside your ex-boyfriend and across from your ex-husband, it's torture to try not to turn obviously towards the person you're actually in love with, which is your best female friend Meredith Grey, who is probably straight," Addison finally articulates completely.

"You're right, I empathize with the exact same conundrum with my ex-wife and ex-girlfriend, as I try not to stare lustfully at my male best friend Mark who is probably straight. And I just want to smash the damn stupid sucky square table to pieces, because it reminds me that we're in a love square, and I swear to God I don't think there's any good way we can come out of this," Derek says to her seriously.

Addison starts to say something, but she's cut off by the bartender.

"Red wine, single malt scotch, tequila, and also a whiskey?" The server motions for them to take the tray into their hands.

"Did you include the extra limes and the ice-chips?" Derek asks them as Addison pays for the drinks.

"Yes, there on the corner," the server points to them, motioning to the garnishes.

"Thanks," Addison says curtly, as Derek takes the tray in his hands.

"How fitting is it that the damn tray has four corners. Like the stupid sucky square table…" Derek says bitterly.

"And our even stupider, suckier, love square," Addison finally finishes their mutual thoughts and conundrums as they walk back over, together, to their ex-somethings and their still-friends that they still are also in love with.

* * *

*

*

*

*

******* END OF CHAPTER THREE**

* * *

_Author's Note:_

In this AU, Carolyn Shepherd and Bizzy Forbes and 'The Captain' Montgomery are very homophobic. I don't actually think that they are (well, I really hope that Bizzy, at least, isn't…). But this is the way I wanted the story to pan out, as something different to explain Addek's wedding. Yeah, so probably not super fun for those Addek fans. But alas, in favor of Addek, they do share an unspoken, unbreakable bond… In solidarity, I guess.

What do you think of all this, is the situational irony exciting for you? Well, I hope it's at least vaguely sort-of interesting, or intriguing, or at least light enough to make you laugh at all this.

Do you want a happy ending in CORNER 4? Or a sad one? Or a half-happy-half-sad-sort-of-deal? Lemme know in the comments, I'll see what I can do for you :D.

bobbiejelly

* * *

####  **_Further Reading, (Other works you may like. These are my other MerAdd works so far…):_ **

#### 

####  [**Falling Apart, Barely Breathing**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23434480)

####  [ **Soothe** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24039004)

####  [ **Chasing Butterflies** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23365279)

####  [ **A Seattle Grace Mercy West Swingers Party - Post Plane Crash Edition** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23604244)

####  [ **McCravings** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24077548)

####  [ **RED is the new BLACK.** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23737411)

####  [ **Five Reasons We Knew Calzona Was Made For Each Other & Five + More 6 Sentence Fics** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23515210)

####  [ **Out Of The Dark** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23528218)

####  [ **Hello, Seattle** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23480440)

####  [ **Peace Of My Heart** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23554429)

####  [ **Meredith gets her Mojo Back** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23008183)

####  [ **Tears Shed From A Drunken Conversation** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23468182)

####  [ **Who Can Screw the Shepherd Siblings Better? A Sex Bet Between Addison Montgomery and Mark Sloan.** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23613940)

####  [ **Elevator To Heaven** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23639659)

####  [ **To Build A Home - For Me & For You** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23718808)

####  [ **Sights of Seattle, Stars in the Sky** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23384917)

####  [ **Meredith Makes Her McCHOICE of a Lifetime.** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23684815)

####  [ **Chief Montgomery's Seductress** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24115456)

####  [ **MerAdd PROMPTS Consultation for @bobbiejelly - INPUT REQUESTED !** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23741428)

####  [ **After Italian** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24078883)

####  [ **'Merley' (Meredith Grey/Miranda Bailey), eventual MerAdd (Meredith Grey/Addison Montgomery), mostly for Lesbi_Honest_FP** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24149845)

####  **The whole MerAdd Series:**

####  [ **MerAdd My Heart <3** ](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1687834)

#### 

* * *

#### 

####  **_Author’s Note 3:_ **

####  **Much love,**

####  **_bobbiejelly_ **

####  [ **bobbiejelly** ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bobbiejelly/pseuds/bobbiejelly)


	4. CORNER FOUR

_Author's Note:_

For LordOfLezzies on Ao3… Again!

Because you love the big gay cover-up wedding, And this is 'right up your alley.'

Shoutout to Hotgitay and 1 other guest, whoever you are.

Also for danielaperezsurga and outlawqueenpercabeth who liked this on Wattpad.

_bobbiejelly_

* * *

**You Know, I Know The Feeling**

* * *

_Square tables sure are the worst things, like, ever (Except for maybe, love-squares, of course)._

_A fanfiction involving Addison Montgomery, Meredith Grey, Derek Shepherd & Mark Sloan._

_Rated somewhere between T and M, I guess. Grey's Anatomy and also Private Practice._

_A Four-Shot for Four Fabulous Fast Friends. MerDer. MerAdd. Maddison. MarkAndDerek._

* * *

**Chapter 4: CORNER FOUR**

* * *

"Ice chips!" Meredith Grey says excitedly as Derek Shepherd and Addison Montgomery return to the stupid sucky square table to offer the tray out to them.

"Here, take the limes if you want, Mark Sloan," Meredith offers to him sweetly, as she's gotten to know him enough in the past hour to know that he likes them.

At this seemingly natural gesture, Addison and Derek give each other a horrified look, as if to say 'what if the two of them got together while we were gone, and we're now both completely fucked?'.

But neither of the four of them, not Mark, Derek, Addison, or Meredith is ready nor willing to come clean with the truth right now.

So Mark and Meredith simply slide over to the inner corners of the stupid sucky square table as they motion for one of them to join the seat next to them.

Addison wants to sit to Meredith, but she doesn't, and she sighs as she makes the safe choice and sits next to Mark.

Derek wants to sit to Mark, but he doesn't, and he sighs as he makes the safe choice and sits next to Meredith.

And Mark and Meredith each give each other a sympathetic look as if to say 'sorry your "knight in shining... _whatever_ " didn't just sweep you off your feet slash sit next to you right now'.

And this look doesn't go unnoticed by Addison nor Derek, but the knowing sympathetic look is misinterpreted as affection.

And it makes both of them extremely jealous, and of course, as we know, they are jealous OF their most recent ex-somethings.

Derek is jealous of Addison for sitting by Mark.

Addison is jealous of Derek for sitting by Meredith.

And off Mark and Meredith's clearly significant look…

Derek and Addison exchange a clearly significant look with each other.

And they used to be each other's 'significant other'.

So finally Meredith has more of a temper so she asks them to "cut it out" because they've "been divorced already".

So Derek and Addison look away from each other because they've been called out for that.

And Addison ends up turning towards Mark again because she's supposed to.

And Mark is still turned towards Meredith because she was just yelling.

* * *

And Derek gets upset that Mark is staring at Meredith because it's the worst possible outcome that his best-friend who he's secretly in love with would steal his most-recent ex-girlfriend after Mark had already slept with his ex-wife.

So he just says "Meredith, stop hoarding all the damn ice chips," because he's not going to say what he's really thinking, but this is his way of indirectly calling Meredith 'such a whore'.

And Addison gets upset that Derek is yelling at Meredith, so she says to Derek "she can have as many damn ice chips she wants because if you haven't noticed, they're free!"

And then Mark gets upset that Derek is still staring at Meredith and then Addison because they were both yelling at him, and it makes sense that he's looking at the women but he wants him to be looking at HIM.

So Mark offers all of the lime wedges to Derek, before the girls complain that that's sexist, and it all gets blown completely out of proportion, so Mark just sulks as he shuts up and sips on his whiskey.

No matter how hard Addison tries to stop staring at Meredith Grey, she's drawn to the girl every time she takes a fresh ice chip and lets it melt between her teeth.

Addison is fascinated as she glimpses periodically at the blonde girl who looks shyly away from her every time that their eyes lock.

And Derek is trying hard not to let his eyes wander to Mark over the table. But Mark is making that hard from him because he's taking the lime wedges and suckling the juices out.

Because Derek bites his lip every time Mark makes noise with his gruff breath as he enjoys the sourness and the vague sweetness that accompanies this garnish.

And Meredith can feel Addison's eyes on her, but she's half as sure they're just because she's her best friend and she's trying to give her signals to stop being new friends with Mark.

So Meredith looks away sheepishly, from her, because she doesn't want to let Addison down, so she dutifully tries to look at Derek again but gets bored, and he's not staring at her, back.

And Mark tries to recover from being called 'sexist' by offering the rest of the limes to the girls, hoping that Derek will praise him for that but he doesn't, so Mark looks dejected and sad.

And Mark tries not to stare at Derek so much, because Derek is flicking his eyes curiously between Addison and Meredith to see what's going on with them, and Mark misinterprets this.

* * *

And eventually, Meredith Grey is the one to be brave. She wordlessly stops sucking on ice chips silently. She takes out the salt shaker, licks her hand, shakes the salt on it before throwing the salt over her left shoulder for good luck.

Then she downs her entire shot of tequila at once, before grabbing a fistful of lime wedges and shoving one into her mouth, allowing the salty and sweet and sour to drown out the burn of the alcohol.

And then Meredith Grey blurts out to everyone, "I think I'm actually a little bit gay,".

She expects a smug look from Mark, who already knew that from talking to her, but he just looks away for a second, before agreeing with her.

"You know, I know the feeling, I think I'm actually a little bit gay, too," Mark announces to everyone, trying not to look at Derek in particular.

And then Meredith locks eyes with Mark and she nods approvingly, as if to thank him for following along with her bold and potentially alcohol-induced admission.

And then Addison and Derek lock eyes with each other, as if to dare the other to also admit what the others just did. But they're both terrified, because once they do, they'll have to explain their sham of a marriage, and they sigh as they think this.

"You know, I know the feeling, also, because I'm actually a little bit gay and I always have been," Addison finally gives in and lets go first as she said she would, earlier to Derek.

"Weren't you married to my ex-boyfriend for like, eleven years?" questions Meredith, and Addison tries to come up with something to tell Meredith without shaking.

But Derek rescues her, and announces "You know, I know the feeling, as well, I'm actually a little bit gay, and I always have been, and I'm sorry I never came clean, sooner, either," Derek finally admits this.

And Addison hums in approval at Derek, because she always felt sad at the thought that Derek might never be open about himself.

"So, you still never explained your whole wedding then divorce thing?" Mark asks of Addison and Derek.

"Oh, right, well, our parents sort of wanted to make us more straight, but it didn't work, and we're finally coming out of the closet now, and to hell with the consequences, because we're actually grownups and we don't want to be afraid anymore" Addison pleads Mark to understand this, since he's met her parents before...

"And by the way, I don't think my mom will be upset at you being gay, Mark, I know she's sort of like, your mom too. But she's just probably mad because I'm her only boy and after Dad died and I think that she might have wanted a straight guy to be a father in the family, even though she never said that directly" Derek says softly as Mark nods...

"Well, I'm glad your mom will still probably love me. I didn't really have good parents around other than your family, and I'll be really sad if I never get to see them all again over the holidays," Mark directs his comment to Derek, looking away from him shyly, though...

"I'm sorry you felt you had to hide yourself like that for so long, I know if my mom were still alive I don't know what she'd think, but she sort of knew I liked women anyways, I think but she just never brought it up, so anyways, you know I know the feeling. That I understand all of you..."

Meredith apologizes to everyone at the table, but mostly at Addison, though she's avoiding eye contact with her best friend right now, because she's afraid Addison will figure out that she likes her, but not like her back…

* * *

"I'm in love with a woman, and I'm so sorry Derek and Mark, but that's why we never worked out, and that's why I was an adulterous whore behind your back Derek, and that's why I didn't accept it when you cheated on me, Mark," Addison finally admits aloud to the group.

She expects Mark to freak out at her, saying she's a hypocrite and a liar. But to her astonishment, Mark says something similar, in that he says "you know, I know the feeling, because I'm in love with a man and I participated in two affairs rather than admit that I was."

And then Derek steps up to say "you know, I know the feeling, because I let myself participate in a pretend love story for my mom and Addison's parents just because I was still upset that my dad died, and I'm in love with a man now and I'm finally saying that. And sorry, Meredith, really."

But Meredith doesn't get upset either, she just says, "you know, I know the feeling, because I slept with a married man after I knew he was married, because I knew it wouldn't end well, and I wouldn't have to make up excuses. I'm sorry, too, Derek, that it came to this. I really am…"

And then they look at each other, as Addison says to everyone else, "you know, I know the feeling…" and she tries not to hope too hard that the woman Meredith is talking to is actually her. And she eventually decides to step it up, to for once and for all, "I'm in love with my best friend," Addison says, locking eyes with Meredith Grey.

"You know, I know the feeling," Meredith says back to her, as she looks Addison Montgomery right in the eye, as she announces "I'm in love with my best friend as well." And they both stare into each other's eyes, and reach their hands to hold hands across the table and squeeze each other's hands reassuringly. And they ignore Mark and Derek's looks of who knows what else…

Because the emotion of jealousy that both of them are experiencing, Mark and Derek, that is, is not about Addison or Meredith or women at all. It's about the fact that two of their closest friends just came out of the closet and found out they liked each other and look like they're willing to give seeing each other a shot. And sure, they've known each other less long than the boys…

But they still had a lot to lose with each other, and Mark and Derek recognize that. But eventually, Mark picks up on something in his best friend's eyes, because they did grow up together, after all. And Mark sees the hope there, the possibility and promise. So Mark says aloud "you know, I know the feeling, because I'm in love with my best friend as well."

And Derek practically leaps over the table at Mark, or at least tries to, but only succeeds in hitting himself in the chest with one of the damn corners of the stupid sucky square table as he does this. So he sits back down and surrenders and says to Mark "you know, I know the feeling. I'm in love with my best friend, and I always secretly have been…"

And that's the moment where Addison says to everyone "you know I know the feeling, and I think I also have another feeling, that maybe we should switch seats as we finish our drinks sitting around this Godforsaken stupid sucky square table so we can sit next to the people we're actually in love with, now in the present," Addison promises, and everyone seems to agree.

"You know, Addie?" says Meredith, who is responded by a "Yes, Mer?" From Addison, right, back at her, as they shuffle around the table so that Addison is tucked in with Meredith, and Mark is tucked in with Derek. And the girls take over the ice chips while the boys take over the limes. And Addison sips on her red wine, and Derek sips on his single-malt scotch and Mark sips on his whiskey some more…

"You know, I know the feeling, or I have a feeling, that you were right after all. That coming here, with our recent exes, to try to clear the air and see what sort of friendship we could salvage… That it really was the best thing after all," Meredith says to her sweetly. "And I think that this whole love-square really ended up working out for us after all, who knew that it could?"

And Addison smiles at Meredith, and everyone smiles at her answer. And Addison says "you know, I know the feeling, or I have a feeling, that this felt right all along. That we were waiting for the perfect time to come out and come clean with ourselves. And I'm glad the love square is no longer a problem. And at least now this stupid sucky square table lets us drink happily the 4 of us, all together, double dating like we always wanted to, if we'd just dated our best friends, sooner.

"You know," Meredith says all mischievously at Addison, now. "I think we ought to stop calling this square table stupid and sucky. Because at least we can each cuddle into each other without everyone's elbows being all in the way. And we can still talk to each other across it and share all the limes and the ice chips and drinks, but now that there is no more 'love square' and just two new happy out and proud gay couples…" Meredith starts to say but Addison finishes, "despite the pain if you get too damn close to the corners, it turns out the best bar table for us **four** best **friends,** each in **love** , after all, is a **square**."

* * *

*

*

*

*

* * * * ******* END OF CHAPTER FOUR**

* * *

******* FIN *******

* * *

_Author's Note:_

So I like a happy ending.

Hope you liked this.

I'm off to play four-square... ;)

Just kiddin', LOL.

_bobbiejelly_

* * *

****** THANK YOU FOR READING, LEAVE A NOTE IT WILL MAKE MY DAY! ******

* * *

####  **_Further Reading, (Other works you may like. These are my other MerAdd works so far…):_ **

#### 

####  [**Falling Apart, Barely Breathing**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23434480)

####  [ **Soothe** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24039004)

####  [ **Chasing Butterflies** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23365279)

####  [ **A Seattle Grace Mercy West Swingers Party - Post Plane Crash Edition** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23604244)

####  [ **McCravings** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24077548)

####  [ **RED is the new BLACK.** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23737411)

####  [ **Five Reasons We Knew Calzona Was Made For Each Other & Five + More 6 Sentence Fics** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23515210)

####  [ **Out Of The Dark** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23528218)

####  [ **Hello, Seattle** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23480440)

####  [ **Peace Of My Heart** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23554429)

####  [ **Meredith gets her Mojo Back** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23008183)

####  [ **Tears Shed From A Drunken Conversation** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23468182)

####  [ **Who Can Screw the Shepherd Siblings Better? A Sex Bet Between Addison Montgomery and Mark Sloan.** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23613940)

####  [ **Elevator To Heaven** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23639659)

####  [ **To Build A Home - For Me & For You** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23718808)

####  [ **Sights of Seattle, Stars in the Sky** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23384917)

####  [ **Meredith Makes Her McCHOICE of a Lifetime.** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23684815)

####  [ **Chief Montgomery's Seductress** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24115456)

####  [ **MerAdd PROMPTS Consultation for @bobbiejelly - INPUT REQUESTED !** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23741428)

####  [ **After Italian** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24078883)

####  [ **'Merley' (Meredith Grey/Miranda Bailey), eventual MerAdd (Meredith Grey/Addison Montgomery), mostly for Lesbi_Honest_FP** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24149845)

####  **The whole MerAdd Series:**

####  [ **MerAdd My Heart <3** ](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1687834)

#### 

* * *

#### 

####  _Author’s Note 3:_

#### Much love,

Hope to see you in the comments!!!!

Chapter 41 of “Falling Apart, Barely Breathing” is up also :D.

Yours, truly,

####  _bobbiejelly_

####  [ **bobbiejelly** ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bobbiejelly/pseuds/bobbiejelly)


End file.
